Falkner and the Twinkie Accident
by SuicunesRibbonButt
Summary: Falkner hears a rumor about Morty, which leads him to believe sparks could fly between them. Will Falkner score, or will he be tricked?


It all started with a picture Flint put on Twitter. It was after an all region conference and the Elite Four member was ecstatic to see his fellow late night fast food lover, Morty. It was a quick picture just because they haven't seen each other in over a month, Flint on the left, tried to look all cool in it, positioning his hands by his face weird, and Morty on the right, simply smiled. It was once Flint put it on Twitter that the problems arose.

"Crossregion bros #swag#dope#sexy"

Flint thought all the ladies would be complimenting him in the picture. However, that wasn't the case.

" burninghotsexyfries the cake on the right!"menting him in the picture. However, that wasn' and Morty simply smiled. omg who's that cutie on the right?"

" burninghotsexyfries mm I'll take a slice from the right. Sorry flint."

" burninghotsexyfries I'd kill a man to have a chnce yhance to touch that blonde guy."

Obviously, this made Flint very upset. Morty was hogging all the compliments! No one was appreciating the TRUE sex dynamite in the picture. The burning hot passion, the sultan of seduction, Flint. He had to do something to repel all the chicks hot for Morty.

"Morty is really gay and will never be horny for any of you #sorry"

"Morty is the most homosexual guy I know #realtalk"

"I'm straight and single ladies ;) #flintswag"

Well, no one really laid off complimenting Morty, girls will be girls, but all Flint's talk about Morty being gay caught the attention of someone else.

Falkner.

Falkner had his eyes on Morty for a while, and being kind of naïve, he believed everything he saw on Flint's Twitter. He knew it was gonna be time to make his move.

About a week after the whole Twitter incident, Morty invited Eusine and Falkner over a night to watch a movie. He just didn't want to be lame and sit alone at home on a Friday night. It would be great to spend some quality time with two of his friends! But he made a bit of a mistake.

He smoked a bit of weed beforehand.

Being in a bit of a haze during the movie was not a great idea. He couldn't really focus on what was about to happen.

The three of them sat on Morty's slumpy, cigarette stained couch, mindlessly watching the movie. Hell, none of them even knew what the movie was called. It was free on HBO. A movie night was the perfect opportunity for Falkner, however. He made sure to sit next to his target, starting at a normal, acceptable distance from him, then slowly scooting closer, making sure to "accidentally" touch Morty's thigh every now and again.

Morty was a bit oblivious to everything, being a bit faded out and all. He didn't mind Falkner being friendly with him. They were friends after all, and friends should be allowed to get kind of touchy with each other without being creepy. It didn't bother Morty one bit. He even started to playfully rest his head on Falkner's shoulder every now and again, not noticing glares from Eusine.

Eusine was the first one to leave after the movie. He knew something was up between those two and it was giving him weird vibes. Jealousy? Maybe. But he was just gonna let them sort things out, whatever turned them on. He was gonna stay far away from it all.

One Eusine was gone, Falkner stood talking to Morty on his porch.

"Thanks for inviting me, Morty. I," he paused and blushed a bit, "had a good time."

Morty laughed. "Not a problem. I haven't hung out with you in a while so yeah, it was pretty good for me too." He stopped and took a deep breath before continuing. "Listen, you should come over again sometime. Maybe tomorrow night if you're not doing anything. I could show you my Twinkie if you want."

Hearing what just came out of Morty's mouth made Falkner let out a little squeak. He definitely didn't expect things to happen this fast. But then again, Morty was….a bit wild, which made him even more irresistible.

With a shy wave and a nod, Falkner was off.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" Morty yelled, smiling while watching Falkner walk away. He was happy that he felt he could trust Falkner with this. Falkner was a great guy and Morty really hoped he wouldn't be disappointed.

The next evening, Morty gave Falkner a call.

"Hey ready to come over now? Man, I think I have everything ready for you so you better be prepared. Things are gonna get crazy up in this joint." On that note, Morty took a puff from the joint in his hand.

"I'll be there! Don't worry! I'm coming as fast as I can. Morty, I'm so excited. Thanks for doing this for me. It just makes me adore you even more!"

"Ahaha yeah man I love you too." Morty meant it in the most friendly way possible, but it was taken completely wrong by Falkner, whose jaw dropped by the thought that Morty was saying "I love you" even before they were officially boyfriends. How crazy was that?

Morty just got deeper and deeper into his trance as Falkner trotted at a somewhat brisk pace to the destination where he thought he would receive pleasure.

He banged on Morty's door, and was let in.

"Hey uhhh hey man nice to see you again."

"Morty it smells like weed in here. Are you sure you're decent enough to do this?"

"Uh yeah, yeah never been better dude just calm down it's gonna be great."

A smile crawled across Falkner's face as Morty clumsily grabbed his arm.

"Come on, I'll bring you to uh….my bedroom yeah."

It was real. Falkner was gonna score. And he came prepared.

Morty didn't even notice what Falkner was wearing and had in his hands until they got to his room and Falkner threw his coat off.

"Uhhh…wh-what are you wearing."

"Oh, this?" Falkner slipped out of his pants to fully reveal a maid outfit. "Just a little something for you."

"Are you insinuating that my house is dirty and you're gonna clean it for me?"

Falkner laughed and turned around, wiggling his booty in the short skirt. "You could say I'm gonna clean….something."

"If that's the case, make it my kitchen because I heated up pizza in my microwave earlier and let me tell you, the sauce is everywhere." Morty bent down to sit on the floor next to his bed as Falkner reached in the bag he brought.

"Look what I got, Mortimer," Falkner purred as he pulled out something long and fuzzy.

"Is that…wait Falkner what the fuck is that? Show it to me."

Falkner held up a cat tail buttplug in front of Morty's face.

"Your ass or mine?" He smirked as he leaned over to lightly rub his fingers over Morty's cheeks.

Morty was silent for a good while until he eventually broke into speech.

"Dude put that away we have more important matters at hand." Morty was now lying on the ground, crawling halfway under his bed. As he squirmed, Falkner watched his every movement and licked his lips, assuming that Morty was looking for some more toys. His thoughts were interrupted by Morty screaming.

"GOT IT!" Morty crawled out from under his bed with a shoebox. Falkner expected good things.

"What's in the box, Morty? Something good I hope."

"My Twinkies."

"What?" A look of horror passed over Falkner's face.

"Yeah….uhmmm the reason I invited you over?" Morty lifted the lid off the box to reveal a ton of Twinkie cakes. "Aren't they beautiful? I made sure to save a bunch after they stopped production. I could sell these, but the money is definitely not comparable to the pleasure I feel in my mouth once one of these bad boys touches my tongue."

Falkner was speechless. When Morty said Twinkie…..he literally meant Twinkie. Not what Falkner originally thought.

"You could have one if you want. Man, I'm gonna eat like, 15 I have mad cravings right now, you feel me?"

Falkner nodded and took one. Good thing Morty was on another planet while all this was happening, Falkner couldn't even imagine what might have happened if he was sober.

Leaning back against his bed, Morty finally addressed the…weird behavior coming from Falkner.

"So what's with the getup and toys and such? Got a hot date with Janine after this?"

Falkner didn't even think before answering.

"YEAH! Date with Janine…yeah that's it."

"Well good luck, man. If you need any tips, I got some."

Morty started to spew information about poses, kinks, and foreplay at a rate Falkner couldn't even comprehend. He was like the Google of sex and Falkner was turning bright red listening, thinking of him and Morty doing everything he was saying.

"I could see you're getting embarrassed with me talking about all of this. Sorry, I know I could be a bit forward sometimes. My bad, man. I'll stop, I'll stop. Just go out and have fun, okay? Treat her right, do her good, don't forget about me." Morty rubbed the back of his head as he looked away, he didn't want to embarrass Falkner further by looking right at him.

"Yeah….I guess. Okay. Well, bye Morty. Have a good night." Falkner headed towards Morty's bedroom door, ready to leave, when Morty yelled to him.

"Hey! Falkner! Wait a sec."

With high hopes of Morty confessing his undying love, Falkner whipped around.

"Don't forget your coat!" Morty threw Falkner's coat at him, which hit him in the face.

With one last look at Morty, who was now surrounded by Twinkie wrappers, Falkner was off, heading home to write M rated fics about him and Morty doing every bit of advice Morty told to him earlier.

Bliss.


End file.
